The Marshmallow Test is a simple experiment that shows just how hard it is to delay a pleasure that is right in front of us. A child is given one marshmallow. They can eat it right away, but if they are willing to wait about 15 minutes, they will get two marshmallows. The choice seems simple: one now or two later. But don’t we repeatedly face these kinds of choices in our daily lives?
The children in the experiment showed reactions that were both adorable and fascinating. Some held their marshmallow, turned their faces away, closed their eyes, sang, or even almost cried while trying to resist temptation. Others just gobbled it up without much thought. If you want to see what the experiment looks like, you can watch one of the videos here.
This experiment, pioneered by psychologist Walter Mischel, later became famous as an illustration of delayed gratification, or the ability to postpone satisfaction. However, the meaning isn’t just about determining which child is “strong” and which is “weak.” Instead, the Marshmallow Test invites us to understand that self-control is influenced by strategies, habits, a sense of security, and a trustworthy environment. The good news is, this ability can be learned and practiced.
Below are seven important lessons from the experiment, follow-up research, and its application in our lives.
What Is the Marshmallow Test?
In the original experiment, preschool children were given a choice between a small reward they could enjoy immediately or a larger reward if they waited. The researcher then left the room. That’s where the little struggle began: the marshmallow sat still on the table, but the child’s mind worked hard to deal with the temptation.
What’s interesting isn’t just how long they could wait, but how they waited. Children who kept staring at the food usually found it harder to hold out. Conversely, children who turned away, closed their eyes, sang, or imagined the marshmallow as something else tended to wait longer. The American Psychological Association explains these distraction strategies more fully here.
The first lesson is simple: self-control isn’t just a matter of willpower. We are often more successful when the environment is set up so that temptation doesn’t constantly grab our attention. If you want to cut back on sweets, don’t put them on your desk. If you want to focus on reading, put your phone in another room. Willpower is still important, but strategy makes that willpower easier to exercise.
Self-Control Is Linked to the Future
Many studies have looked at the relationship between childhood self-control and adult life. One of the most famous is the Dunedin Multidisciplinary Health and Development Study. This long-term study followed over 1,000 people from birth to adulthood.
The results showed that levels of childhood self-control were related to physical health, substance dependence, personal financial status, and the likelihood of criminal offenses in adulthood. This relationship remained even after researchers accounted for intelligence and socioeconomic background. A summary of the research published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences can be read here.
Children with lower self-control in that study were, on average, at higher risk for the following problems:
- poorer health, including blood pressure, weight, dental health, and respiratory function;
- dependence on tobacco, alcohol, or other substances;
- difficulty managing savings, credit, debt, investments, and retirement plans; and
- social problems and a record of criminal offenses.
These findings don’t mean a child who eats the marshmallow immediately is destined for a bad future. The research speaks to group trends, not a verdict for every individual. However, the message remains powerful: the habit of managing impulses today can repeat into patterns that shape our health, work, finances, and relationships later on.
The Marshmallow Test Is Not a Child’s Fortune-Telling
This part is important so we don’t oversimplify the story. A 2018 replication study found that the link between early waiting ability and later achievement became much smaller once family background, early cognitive ability, and the home environment were taken into account. The full study can be read here.
This means a child might eat the marshmallow immediately not because they lack good character. It could be that they are used to living in uncertain circumstances, so the promise of “getting two later” isn’t fully believable. Choosing to take something that is definitely available now can be a rational choice for that child.
So, the Marshmallow Test should be understood as a small window into self-control, waiting strategies, and trust in the environment. This test isn’t a tool to label a child. A parent’s job isn’t to test and then judge, but to create a consistent home: promises are kept, rules are clear, and the child is helped to find strategies when facing temptation.
Choosing Instant Gratification or Future Benefits
In daily life, we repeatedly choose between momentary pleasure and long-term benefits.
If you think about it, life is full of “marshmallows” in various forms. From the moment we wake up until we go back to sleep, we choose: keep lounging around or exercise, grab another fried snack or stop at enough, finish work or open social media for “just a second” that suddenly turns into an hour.
When it comes to food, for example, the choice that feels delicious now doesn’t necessarily support health later. Burgers, donuts, sugary drinks, and chips are easily tempting. Meanwhile, vegetables, fruit, oatmeal, boiled sweet potatoes, or unsweetened tea sometimes seem less appealing. Of course, we don’t have to live without pleasure. The problem usually arises when instant gratification always wins and becomes a habit.
Our brains are wired to repeat behaviors that feel good. Dopamine plays a role in motivation, learning, and reward-seeking; it’s not just a “happy hormone” that automatically makes us have fun. Therefore, changing habits is more effective if we don’t just say “don’t,” but also prepare realistic alternative choices.
In more serious cases, difficulty controlling impulses can be related to smoking, alcohol, gambling, or addictive substances. One story about someone who smoked but lived a long life doesn’t invalidate the health evidence in a much larger population. Individual experiences are easy to remember, but good decisions should be based on broader evidence. For healthier lifestyle habits, you can also read the internal article 18 Tips for a Healthy and Fit Life.
Self-Control in Finance and Time Management
When managing income, we again face a similar choice: enjoy it all now or set some aside for future goals. The temptation is greater because shopping can be done in a few taps, while social media daily showcases the latest trips, restaurants, gadgets, bags, and watches.
It doesn’t mean enjoying the fruits of your labor is wrong. Life certainly shouldn’t be about waiting forever until we forget to be grateful today. What needs to be maintained is balance. Spending becomes a problem when it’s done for prestige, paid for with uncontrollable debt, and sacrifices emergency funds, children’s education, a home, or retirement.
A simple way to help with self-control is to automate good decisions. Set aside savings or investments as soon as you receive income, rather than waiting for leftover money at the end of the month. Separate accounts for needs, savings, and entertainment. That way, we don’t have to pit willpower against the same temptation over and over again.
The same applies to free time. Watching movies, taking a nap, or chatting with friends is certainly needed. However, if all our time is spent only on momentary pleasures, we lose the opportunity to develop skills whose benefits won’t be felt until years later.
I’ve felt the consequences myself. When I was young, I was given the choice of taking an English course or playing more with friends. Of course, the second option felt much better at the time. The consequences were only felt later, when my friends were already fluent, while I still had to catch up and study again. Experiences like this remind me that some pleasures are worth delaying, not discarding.
Discipline also grows through experiences with others. Organizations, for example, train us to hold responsibility and finish work even when we don’t feel like it. A more complete discussion can be read in the article 10 Soft Skills Students Can Hone Through Organizations.
How to Train Self-Control in Children
Because self-control relates to various aspects of life, parents need to help children practice it. However, this practice shouldn’t take the form of long lectures or punishment every time a child fails. Children need repeated small opportunities, clear goals, and examples from adults.
Some ways to do this include:
- Teach waiting for short periods. Start with a few minutes, then slowly increase according to the child’s age.
- Help the child redirect their attention. Encourage singing, drawing, reading, or moving tempting objects out of sight.
- Keep your promises. If a parent promises a reward after the child waits or completes a task, fulfill that promise so the child learns that waiting is indeed trustworthy.
- Use a piggy bank and concrete goals. Give pocket money and then help the child set some aside to buy something they want. If occasionally the ice cream is still paid for by Abi, well, that’s just practice, haha.
- Provide a real example. Children learn more easily from parents who can stop playing on their phones while talking, keep to a schedule, and don’t always buy things impulsively.
- Value the process, not just the result. When a child fails, ask what strategy they can try next time. Don’t let one failure become a character label.
The American Psychological Association provides a brief guide on strategies to help children wait, which can be read here. Essentially, self-control develops through practice and support, not because a child is destined from birth to have strong or weak willpower.
The Marshmallow Test and Controlling Worldly Desires
In a religious perspective, self-control is related to the ability to direct worldly desires.
In a religious perspective, talk of self-control is very close to the effort of controlling worldly desires. These desires are part of human nature. We aren’t asked to kill them, but to direct them so they stay within good and permissible (halal) limits.
The challenge is that the pleasure from wrong actions often seems clear right in front of us, while the consequences might only be felt much later. We might be tempted to accept a “thank you” from a vendor that could actually be a kickback, join in on match betting just to be seen as part of the crowd, or spread gossip in a chat group because it feels exciting and makes us the center of attention.
The last example seems trivial, but the impact is real. Restraining your fingers from forwarding unclear news is a form of self-control. So is choosing halal food, refusing alcohol even if it’s considered uncool, guarding one’s gaze, and leaving behind questionable transactions. All are choices between a momentary impulse and the values we want to hold.
Allah SWT reminds us in Surah Al-Furqan verses 43–44 about humans who take their worldly desires as their god. The translation and context of these verses can be read here.
“Have you (O Prophet) seen the one who takes their own desires as their god? Will you then be a keeper over them? Or do you think that most of them listen or understand? They are only like cattle—no, they are even farther astray from the Path.” (QS. Al-Furqan: 43–44)
This verse invites us to put our desires in their place. Desires don’t always have to be followed, but it’s also not enough to just suppress them without direction. They need to be guided by faith, common sense, and good habits. Prayer is also part of that effort. Several prayers from the Qur’an can be found in the internal article Collection of Prayers in the Qur’an.
Conclusion: Self-Control Can Be Trained
The Marshmallow Test doesn’t determine a child’s fate, but it provides an easy-to-understand picture of the human struggle against temptation. Research shows that self-control is linked to health, finance, and social life. At the same time, newer research reminds us that family, early ability, a sense of security, and socioeconomic conditions also help shape these outcomes.
Therefore, the most important lesson isn’t “the child who waits will definitely succeed.” The more useful lesson is that self-control can be aided by strategies: redirecting attention, removing temptation, making simple rules, automating good habits, living in a trustworthy environment, and practicing little by little.
We don’t always have to reject today’s pleasures. What needs to be learned is when to enjoy them reasonably and when to delay them for the sake of health, family, life goals, and our accountability to Allah SWT. Let’s keep learning and teaching it to our children, not by labeling them, but with patient example and practice.
Hope this helps.
Frequently Asked Questions about the Marshmallow Test
What is the purpose of the Marshmallow Test?
This test is used to study a child’s ability to delay gratification and the strategies they use when facing temptation.
Will a child who eats the marshmallow immediately fail as an adult?
No. Test results are not a prediction of fate. Self-control is only one factor; family environment, cognitive ability, socioeconomic conditions, and trust in adults also play a role.
Can self-control be trained?
Yes. Children and adults can learn to redirect attention, manage their environment, set small goals, build habits, and delay impulsive decisions.
What are examples of the Marshmallow Test in daily life?
Examples include choosing to save rather than shop impulsively, exercising instead of lounging around, finishing work before opening social media, and refusing kickbacks even if they offer momentary gain.
That’s all, hope this is useful.
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